above Deer Park

…from a Zen brother:

There is this deep understanding that everything is always perfect simply because it is. It is not an understanding of the mind or logic, it is rooted completely in the heart. Although, like all of us, much spiritual practice, reading, meditation and retreats have occurred, this lesson comes directly from life:

Enough times seeing that what I thought was horrible and totally unacceptable turned out to strangely be exactly what was needed for the very best results.

Enough times learning that devastating pain seemed to be the most brilliant spiritual teacher of all.

Enough times seeing that those who I most feared or resisted were all actually just me in different clothes and coming to this seemingly other me with the exact perfect lesson.

Enough times to turn all my thoughts and beliefs and ideas completely upside down, until I finally saw that they were all, all of them, total illusion, blindness and ignorance.

It doesn’t mean I don’t live my life in service to others and work for the benefit of all. But I also know that I don’t know what that means.

It doesn’t mean deep grief and sadness and even occasionally a little anger don’t arise when I forget how perfect this seemingly crazy world is and always has been.

There are no others. There never has been a hair’s breadth of separation anywhere, ever. And yet … and yet this illusion appears so very real. It’s not surprising that it fools us so completely. The best solution may be to rest in this silence that has no answers, no questions, no ideas or beliefs. To help others knowing full well there is no other we are helping. We are only helping our self in the amazingly varied costumes we appear in, just as we are being helped in return. It’s not something the mind can really comprehend, but it is the best help we can offer. This is helping in truth.

Much Love and Many Bows to you, as myself in all its amazing variety and diversity, from warlords, corporate chiefs, politicians, trees, mountains and insects to the many gentle spiritual Bodhisattvas (including my wonderful cat Zen) who through their love help to shatter the illusion that is solely responsible for all human suffering.

—Peter Cutler